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July 22nd, 2007

03:17 pm: new journal
hey ya'all I got myself a new journal on here (i do that every few years).

the new username is...

so friend me pals!

July 21st, 2007

02:21 am: 7 personalities
so...my math class is ruining my life. every math class I take ruins my life. here is a little secret that only really 3 people know. I never passed Algebra. EVER. not in Jr. High, not in high school (and I took it three times in high school) and not in my two times taking it in college. Its not that I don't apply myself; I run myself into the ground putting so much effort into these classes. I honestly CAN NOT do math. I've had tutors, Ive tried different methods of classes (packed in during summer, stretched out long over a semester), ive even taken a math anxiety course to help with it. but nothing helps with it. I HONESTLY think I have a learning disorder with numbers. If you'd look at my tests you'd see it too. It makes no sense. Its like looking at a dyslexic person write an essay. but make it with numbers. they are all switched around, I mix up the formulas, I dont change the sign the right way, or shade the opposite side of the graph...etc. But I excell at every other subject (unless its science that involves math). Its so frustrating and horrible when I try SO HARD at something and fail. over and over again. I honestly sobbed about it on the phone with my mom today. and I feel like ive tried everything. I must have a learning disorder its the only thing I can think of.

ANYWAY. I need to finish my application to HPU. I've done little bits of it here and there this week but I need to get it done by tomorrow, sunday latest. I need to send that sucker in. There's gonna be ALOT of changes if I get accepted and transfer to and move to Hawaii. But I think it will be very good for me. (is Hawaii bad for anyone?...not counting um Pearl Harbor victims..ehhhh).

I DONT like not having money. Ive had enough money to do whatever I want for like, 3 months now. and that phase is pretty much done sadly. Im pretty broke. I spent my last dimes on Eddie Izzard tix (well worth it!!). but ya...its hard going from having money to...not. ive 'not' had money before and lived to tell the tale though so...whatev's. people have it worse! plus the style now is to look like you bought all your clothes at a garage sale and threw it together. so ill just do that for real and no one will know the difference.

EDDIE IZZARD NEXT WEEK!!! holy crapo. I can't believe I scored tickets to this. He NEVER performs anymore. AND its general admission MEANING, if you show up early enough, you could be front effing row. AND the theatre holds less than 300 people...so even if you get crap seats you have good seats. The luck I had on these tickets is UNCANNY. PLUS my favorite band E.V.E.R. (Guster) is playing a show the night before Eddie and I got tickets to that too!!! (and they also like Eddie, never play slows in so cal). its gonna be pretty much the most amazing week of all time.

Current Mood: indescribableindescribable

July 14th, 2007

04:14 pm: I love
I <3

+ My iPod case. it's cute.
+ TARGET. my love for this store is never ending. truly.
+ The fair. I cant wait to go!
+ swimming
+ Guster/Toad the Wet Sprocket show on the 25th. SO EXCITED.
+ all the awesome news flicks coming out
+ artichoke cakes from macaronni grill
+ my new hair color
+ My grade in my Cinema class!
+ the new Nemo ride. I want to ride it again.
+ Tejava iced tea.
+ 1920/30's big band music (IE "Tuxedo Junction", "Moonlight Serenade", etc.)
+ "archer farms" brand packaged pasta dinners they have out now. serves 4 and costs only 3 bucks?? AMAZING.
+ my mom's new house in hawaii
+ my "end of summer session math" trip to said house in hawaii
+ my cat. she is so adorable its ridic. and she loves me. (and she turns 1 tomorrow. officially not a 'kitten' anymore)
+ "high fidelity" is on tv right now
+ air conditioning.
+ jumping off of stuff into water. cliffs, diving boards, trampolines, boats...its juvenile fun and totally underrated.
+ moving in september

Current Mood: calmcalm

July 5th, 2007

02:19 am: catch a falling star
dude...I am SO TIRED. like im beat. Ive gotten 4-5 hours of sleep this whole week every night and its catching up with me tonight. the night I have to write my final paper for class. DRAG! I am sooo tired guys, you dont even know. and heres the real crap part: I have to write this paper on a film ive NEVER seen. I looked for it everywhere (the internet, blockbuster, fry's - which has the most extensive collection of movies ive ever seen and they still didnt have it). so...I got nothing. haha. ah... *shoot self*. my teach had to go and choose the most obscure movie ever. man, sucky. Ill get it done, I just am really tired and dont wanna. I have to finish it up by 5pm tomorrow. I can do this, I just need to STOP writing in livejournal about it and actually write it and go to bed!!

Current Mood: tiredtired

June 18th, 2007

11:36 pm: ain't no particular way
I got a new laptop. Im writing on it now. Im leaving for Hawaii on saturday for 5 days. I watched the Angels play a kick BUTT game tonight. Im going on the new Nemo ride tomorrow. My room is almost clean again. Katherine is getting married on the 30th. crazyness.

Current Mood: pleasedpleased

June 17th, 2007

03:49 pm: ALOHA mother truckers!!!

Current Mood: excitedexcited

June 8th, 2007

11:30 pm: im alot of things, im already torn
you know how it says that god hardens your heart so he could be the one to scrub the callouses off? like you have to cut off the dead layer to get to the new part? or something? thats what I feel like is happening, but ya...i dunno. Ive had to make alot of decisions lately which I feel are for my own well being, like cutting out a cancer. But I cant explain myself because I cant let myself be vulnerable or open a door to people twisting my words or my explanation-I feel like that has happened too much and im sick of it, so the only option I have is to keep all my cards as close to my vest as possible and try and move on in everyway. its been pretty easy for me to do (surprisingly easy) the past while, but today was hard. I feel like im totally in a massive loose/loose situation, and I have to choose which path would be better for me in the long run (after all this initial crap goes away), and I think I have. Ive prayed about it. I mean alot of good stuff has happened too; like I really have found a strong confidence in myself and for standing up for myself and not 'catering' to people any longer, and ive made/grown closer to some friends I wasnt close to before. But there are downsides still. and I just have to wait it out for the 'downsides' to totally go away and all Ill have left is the positive. ya...man.

this totally didnt make sense, but I guess it helped me.

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

June 4th, 2007

10:39 am: burn notice?
I was just thinking about all the stuff I did last summer, and who I hung out with and just my mentality back then and wow. I cant believe that was only last summer. I feel like a completely different person since then; like it was ten years ago...instead of ten months ago. It's like looking back at high school or something. weird.

I feel really good lately. I feel like im in a really good place. I like the people I have around me and the stuff im doing and the stuff I see in the future, Im comfortable with the choices ive been making, my walk with God is good (still could be better, but it could always be better) just meaning Im devoting more time to it and it feels good.

my birthday is coming up. I just wanna do something small, I dont have the energy to throw a party (or a space to do it and thats kinda essential haha). I just wanna get a good group of peeps and hit up Medieval Times or something. the tickets are like 50 bucks though! thats steep. Ill probably end up at dinner with sharon and tj haha. anyway, if anyone has any ideas let me know. I lack creativity when it comes to my own birthday.

Current Mood: pleasedpleased

May 17th, 2007

10:29 pm: finales
the office finale: is like comfort food. not as shockingly wonderful as season 2's finale... but wonderous. eat my ass Karen Filipelli!

greys anatomy: so dumb. I told myself I wouldnt watch that show after they killed Denny, shoulda stuck with that. basically nothing ever works out for anyone and you die. these people intentionally eff up their own lives. they cant let themselves be happy. OH and when were MARRIED PEOPLE fair game still? this show is ridic. if your married you're married IZZY and...other intern? Karev? whatever. dumb.

smallville: havent watched it yet. it's tivo-ed. here's hopin' *crosses fingers*

*note tv show related* can people take a hint? seriously

Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic

May 13th, 2007

10:27 pm: i hate teeth
there was an episode of 'Newlyweds' once where Jessica was going off on how she hated teeth: hated brushing them, hated having to go to the dentist, hated toothaches, hating to have to upkeep them to make them white, etc. Well, I hate teeth too. My stupid wisdom teeth have come in and at first they were just kinda annoying but they are horrible now! I cant even open my jaw barely :( so I have to see my oral surgeon tomorrow for an urgent wisdom teeth extraction in the next few days. bummer. 2nd oral surgery in less than a year. I had to have skin graphing on my gums last July too. I hate teeth.

but in the end, its actually LUCKY this happened. My mouth started hurting last thursday (the 10th), and I was *supposed* to leave for Europe on the 4th. Can you imagine if I went!? I would have had to bail out and come home a week into the trip! because this wisdom teeth stuff is serious business (totally painful and could lead to infection=not fun) I wouldnt have been able to stay on the trip. SO I woulda lost 6000$ PLUS the extra money to fly home early. BAM. I knew there was a reason that circumstances had me pull out of that trip. Thanks for lookin' out for me Jeezy.

man I want a hot dog. weird craving. the minute this stuff goes away I want an Angel Dog, straight up yo.

on another note, the tumor went away :)

nothing else going on...house sitting for the aunt for a while...fun stuff...k night.

Current Mood: highdoped up on pain meds
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